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[fehus]

❝...............Is it -- ❞
DIALTONE.

Comments

[quickfingers]

Yeah this is me avoiding the subject I came to text you about but entertain me

[fehus]

i'm not a real doctor i don't know what the other symptoms are?

dude what's up

[quickfingers]

I kinda wanna die, that's what's up.

[fehus]

ok let's try this again
1 for Heal
2 for I Fucked Up, Magnus
3 for I Fucked Up REAL Bad, Magnus
4 for I Didn't Fuck Up But Have A Social Disorder Probably
5 for Just Playin
6 for More Options
7 for Español

[quickfingers]

2, 3 then 4.
6 - speak to an operator

[quickfingers]

I kinda kissed Barney.

[fehus]

holy shit

[fehus]

this is the same barney right

the one you're friends/family with?

[quickfingers]

yeah, that's the one

[fehus]

and now you want to die because this is a fuck up?

[quickfingers]

No, because it's literally the best thing that's happened to me and I don't want to fuck it up?

[quickfingers]

I am SO going to fuck this up?

[quickfingers]

I might've already fucked it up by doing this? Why did I do this?

THE LINE WAS CROSSED.

[fehus]

[RING RING]

[quickfingers]

[This is unexpected but what also may be unexpected is the tone of Peter's voice being... off?

Oh, no. Just a serious Peter voice for a change.] Uh, hey.

[fehus]

Hey. Um, so.

You kissed the purple dinosaur.

[quickfingers]

I did. It just... happened?

[fehus]

Did the purple dinosaur seem into it?

[quickfingers]

Yeah. It wasn't just like, a brief kiss either. We kinda did two rounds of making out.

[...] In her bed.

[fehus]

Dude!

[it's a sharp chirp of excitement]

What are you talking about death for! That's amazing?

[quickfingers]

Yeah I know it's great and amazing but like, I dunno? I couldn't fuck up friendship too easily before but this feels like something more fragile. Or like, maybe I just worry more about fucking this up? Feels like I could jeopardize everything now.

[A muffled sigh; he's definitely got his face in his hands.] I really like her?

[fehus]

Not to get like, super real with you, but -- everything is always in jeopardy. We could all get snatched to different universes tomorrow. Ragnarok could come. You could get killed by undead vikings.

[this is it. this is the dead Norse version of a peptalk]

-- If you like her, and she's into you, too, just, do that. It doesn't matter if you think you're a dumbass. Do you trust her?

[quickfingers]

Yeah, I know. That's part of the reason - like, if I disappear on her here again? I'm a total jackass and she's worse off. I get the whole living in the moment and seizing opportunities thing but I don't want her to...

[Hurt. He doesn't want Jean to hurt at all.]

I'm really into it but I can't help but feel some part of it's a mistake because the closer we are the worse off we become when something does happen. She's like my best friend here, man. No offense. If she were to pop back in without any memories? That'd - screw me up really bad.

[fehus]

You already know people get hurt, Peter. People leave, and die. Trying to live your life acting like that isn't true or like you can protect people by being alone is nuts. You'll just end up empty, and missing out on what you could have.

[we have to make our time together count, his mom had said. he believes it. he still hates himself, a little, probably forever, for what happened, but he believes in the choices she made for them, so they could make their time together count]

It's not about living in the moment or whatever. It's just, like, living. The good and the bad stuff. Better to have memories to lose than not make any at all, you know?

[quickfingers]

[Everything Magnus says rings true and Peter gets that, but he also remembers the night he was sleeping in Jean's room during the vandalism blitzes and their talk about this very thing. His dad and Charles, specifically, but how she'd lost people before and felt the sadness firsthand from others. And now it just vividly applies to them and he can't help but dwell on it.

'To have all those memories and moments with someone you care about and they're suddenly gone or some other version of them is here... it's them but it's not. How do you even deal with something like that?']

I've always been really shit with timing, too. In two weeks I'm gonna be floating around in space.