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[fehus]

❝...............Is it -- ❞
DIALTONE.

Comments

SALUTATIONS, MAGNUS CHASE!

[quickfingers]

Happy Monday! You are subscribed to gain 1 new amazing sex fact every Monday, from now until 3030. This is a non-negotiable steal of a deal that you missed every opportunity to negate and now must sit back and enjoy! Text 'turgid' to 696969 to receive (2) TWO facts every Monday and upgrade your subscription today!

Today's amazing sex fact:

❝Did you know that kangaroos have 3 vaginas? If not, now you fucking do, chump!! Google it if you don't believe me because believe me there are really weird anatomically correct diagrams on Google Images and they are the top result.❞

That was your zany, amazing sex fact for this Monday! Enjoy knowing about Kangaroo junk, you grasshopper snorting fudgesicle! Text STOP to this number to sign up for 5 weekly facts and type SIGN ME UP to discontinue receiving these messages.

[fehus]

there is no way kangaroos have 3 vaginas

you're 3 vaginas

[quickfingers]

nice comeback there, bud

also for you, you suspicious individual

[fehus]

apart from how annoying this is i guess i'm relieved

1) that there's 3 times as many kangaroos being born as i thought and 2) to find out about your weird fetish in a more indirect than direct way

[quickfingers]

You signed up for these facts my friend, I cannot control them. Would you rather I exchange your fact for something else? I can do that. Do you have a fetish you'd prefer a focus on? Would you like to know why there's two or three vaginas per marsupial? Did you see the diagram? I saw the diagram. I regret seeing the diagram, do you? Did you see the kangaroo babies by any chance? They're worse than the jellybeans. I've seen too much... Did you move the jellybeans?

I feel like Odin now.

[fehus]

i didn't see the diagram or kangaroo babies. i saw google confirming it and x'ed out.

you're spiraling into madness and its only fact one.

[quickfingers]

They're worse than the jellybeans. so much worse?

[fehus]

i moved them.

to where? a mystery, maybe for you to find out.

[quickfingers]

you're starting something in motion, magnus chase
something you may soon regret

[fehus]

yolo

[fehus]

wait

[quickfingers]

yoltydtla (you only live til you die then live again?)

[fehus]

not really (not really) it's complicated (it's complicated)

i didn't get any texts about barney btw?

[quickfingers]

odin did a surprise 180 and is respecting my boundaries

supposedly, anyway

[fehus]

"surprise 180" could probably be his ring name.

are you chill about it?

[quickfingers]

Yeah, I think so.

I'm gonna stew on it for a while and decide.

[fehus]

decide?

[quickfingers]

On how chill I am rn.

Some things were inadvertently brought up that have me wondering.

[fehus]

i don't know where a jamba juice is and am into boundaries to the point of emotional constipation, so if you wanna talk at/with me about your wonderings, i don't mind.

[quickfingers]

I'm the older one, supposed to be giving you sick life lessons. I know friendship makes that road go both ways but I dunno, you shouldn't have to be the hippie ear to all my problems. Granted, you're good at it and probably the only ear I'm talking to about them but...

I'll get back to you about it if it bothers me too much. Scout's honor.

[fehus]

they'd never let you be a scout.

i hate to pull the death card (haha no i don't) or be a stereotypical hippie but me being 17 doesn't have shit to do with shit dude. and there isn't a Peter's Problems quota you can't exceed. but if you just don't wanna talk about it yet, that's fine.

[quickfingers]

I could so have been a scout if I wanted to.

& Thanks man.

[fehus]

are you forgetting i've seen you in the Wilderness?

[quickfingers]

note I said I could have be a scout if I wanted to

I don't claim to be mr woodsman like you now. but if I had wanted to?? I could've. totally.

[fehus]

you lost a fight against a bee