[ When Magnus invites him in, Odin steps carefully over the threshold, ducking his head like he doesn't want to hit it on the doorframe even though he's nowhere near the top of it. The air is blown from his lungs at the sight of what Fauxhalla's become - there's an undeniable warmth here, and Odin can't tell if it's because of the work they've put into the place or if it's just something that bleeds from Alex and Magnus themselves.
But the sight of his presents, his lights, his slanket, actually being used and loved, so many of them a part of Alex and Magnus's home rather than shoved in a box somewhere and put away, it - touches him, in a way he didn't realize it would, until he saw the warmth of the lights casting shadows on the floor he's standing on. He rubs his knuckle over his eye, trying to make it look like he's just tired rather than wiping away a dumb stupid sentimental-ass nerd tear, but he probably fails. When he laughs, it comes out as croaky and a little weak, but still happy. ]
Oh-- dude, I brought my own snacks. I don't wanna eat all your food. I'm already stealing a room from you guys, I can't... like... yeah.
[ He takes his bag off and goes to set it down, but thinks better of it and just hugs it to his chest, instead. This will pass, in time, once he's stayed a couple of nights, but for now he's nervous about doing the wrong thing and overstepping his welcome, and even something as simple as setting down his luggage feels like a bit of a minefield.
Oops, wait! That's a lie. Immediately distracted, he yells, suddenly, loud and excited, as he drops his bag on the floor and runs over to the TV, picking up a certain something and hugging it close. ]
You've got Snalex out! Ahh! I missed them so much!!!!
[closing the door, ready to shut down some dumb bullshit about stealing and snacks, instead -- there's another tearful reunion. Magnus laughs again, as his favourite non-binary yarn snake also gets a crushing hug]
Of course Snalex is out. They like to give me tips while I'm getting my ass kicked in Bloodborne. They say hey.
[he doesn't give a shit where Odin's luggage is, and steps over it, to kneel on the floor and pick up the tarot cards he'd left out]
They say you can sleep with them tonight, if you don't snore. Alex does, Snalex hates it.
[this is a nonsense conversation for idiots, and he's beaming with it]
Do you want curry? We had tikka masala. It's not too spicy, I promise. I think there's leftover eggplant parm, too... and I grew a bunch of weird poke-berries and made bread with 'em. They taste super sweet though, so that'd be better for breakfast or dessert...
[he's basically mumbling to himself at this point, excited in a way that displays differently than in Odin, watching Odin with content grey eyes]
I don't snore! I don't snore. Sometimes I talk? Or shout special moves. In my sleep, I mean. Obviously. But. But, you know. Such is the burden Owain Dark carries on his broad and chiseled shoulders.
[ Somewhere along the line, Odin forgot to actually tell Magnus his real name - it slips out of him now without his notice, and he doesn't rush to hide it or correct himself, as he would with anyone else. Even if he weren't so focused on Snalex, kissing them on the nose and smiling from ear to ear, he probably wouldn't waste the effort to explain away the Odin thing right now - it feels right that Magnus hears that name, in the same way it felt right hugging him at the door. After all, they're family.
He does, however, frown at the offer of food. It's obvious, written over every inch of his face, that he thinks Magnus didn't hear him, when he mentioned he brought his own. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again, getting ready to argue or repeat himself or something, but in the end, he just - sets Snalex back down and smiles, coming over to poke at the tarot cards idly so he doesn't have to look at Magnus when he answers. ]
[Owain, Odin says, and moves on. and Magnus thinks -- that isn't a pseudonym or a fun dumb dramatic persona. he also thinks of all the different names he had, when he was homeless, and how Amir called him Jimmy until just recently. things change; seasons change; people change. he'll call Odin, or Owain, whatever he wants to be called]
[but first, he'll feed him leftover curry. he mirrors Odin's expression, though continues to look at him straight on, though with an intent grey gaze that usually only Alex gets so constantly subjected to. it really does feel like it's been longer than it has, with everything that's happened]
I wouldn't offer if it wasn't. [he finishes picking up the cards, stacking them onto the table semi-neatly] Let me warm some shit up. In my microwave, that I have now.
[he grins]
C'mon. Kitchen.
[and Magnus reaches out, like he doesn't have a problem with touch, before his body remembers and he pulls up short. his hand twitches in the air between them, for just a moment, until -- he takes the sleeve of Odin's hoodie gently, anyway. his smile is a bit proud, as he pulls Odin (still pretty gently, especially in comparison to how Odin and Peter interact) along]
[ He notices the hesitance, when Magnus goes to touch him, only to tug at his sleeve instead. He thinks, suddenly, of the smell of the woods that invaded him every time his dad took him out of the city to just be with nature, of the cut of a sword that may as well be alive, and of the way a man stronger than the hell he grew up in looked at the woman he took as a wife. It's always been there, subconsciously, this relationship Magnus and Lissa have in Owain's head - but this is the first time he's seen Lon'qu so clearly in him instead, and his stomach does a flip as he trips over his feet while he walks.
He heads to the kitchen in silence, though, thinking about things that are far, far away as he slides into his chair at the little table by the fridge. He watches Magnus work the microwave, and Owain feels proud of him, too, for having all of this. He's quiet, until his food is nearly prepared, and then it just sort of slips out of him at once. ]
You're-- my parents.
[ His face goes-- very, very fucking red, because that is a very stupid thing to blurt out of nowhere without explanation, and he just kind of slams his head onto the table and buries his nose into the grain of it for a second. If Magnus tries to speak before he calms down, Owain waves him off, frantically, with his other hand, needing to gather himself in silence. God damn. Stupid. Fuck. Okay. ]
My mother - was like you. I've told you that. But - you're my dad. Too. I didn't notice. Until now. Sorry. What am I-- I don't. What? What. What. Oh my god. Stop? Odin. Odin.
[Magnus is minding his own business, turning with a reheated plate of eggplant parm and two forks -- what, he's eternally 17 and always fucking hungry -- when suddenly his friend breaks. you're my parents, Odin/Owain says, and his eyebrows shoot up, gaze grey and wide]
Um --
[and then Odin is turning red, smacking his forehead and rubbing his face against the table. Magnus hurries to his side, still stupidly holding the parm, going to pat him -- putting the parm down -- getting waved off. palpable exclamation points are fairly popping up visibly out of his head, as Odin makes himself clearer]
[Odin's told him before, that he reminded him of his mother. a blond healer, someone who Odin thinks is inspiring, in the way they care for others. Magnus doesn't know about inspiring, but he does his best, and he understands all too well, seeing the person you loved most in the past in other people you love now in the present]
[he's not quite sure what to say, being informed he also reminds Odin of his dad, but, well. that's never stopped him before. slowly;]
Um. It's okay. I think? [a hand, always so carefully placed, on Odin's shoulder. he pats him, trying to ease him down from the panic he's gearing up to] ...I didn't grow up with any dads, so, I hope it's okay. That I do, um. Remind you of yours. Is it?
[ Odin nods, runing his hands through his hair. He counts prime numbers in his head, like his friend does, whenever he needs to calm himself down and think a little clearer. It helps, if only a fraction, but - but he realizes, suddenly, that he's actually not panicking over this, as he normally might. He's just - shy? He's been practicing how to handle his anxiety, recently, and maybe that's why this feels so much different to how it would have a few months ago. There was a time, once, when he would be so ashamed of himself around Magnus after saying something embarrassing that he would collapse in on his anxiety, going over and over everything wrong he did in his head, beating himself up and calling himself stupid until the whole conversation dragged to an awkward halt for a while - but right now? There's just this manageable, jumpy bubble in his gut that he thinks he has a handle on. It's... nice? It's nice.
He takes a few nervous breaths, scrubbing his hands over his face and clapping his palms on his cheeks a few times, and then he's okay to talk. Maybe he's growing up, finally. Or maybe he's just starting to really, really feel comfortable around Magnus. ]
Dad was calm and brave and quiet. He had-- boundaries, and he let other people have them, too. He respected distance, and he knew when people needed it, as well as when they didn't. I felt safe with him. And - it hit me, just now. You did something he used to do, and I was like - yeah, yeah, this is dad, he's just like dad, this is how I feel whenever I think that dad might be watching over me. He was always there for me, when I needed him to be, and-- and it was hard, for him to give himself to love and to the people who loved him, I think, because he was starved of affection and wounded by it at the same time. Not that-- not that I think that's you? Necessarily? Because man, what a rude thing that would be to say. But-- but he was careful, about who he loved, and when he loved them it was everything to him. Like-- oh man. The way he looked at my mom?
[ He laughs, suddenly, and he leans forward over the table like he's really, really excited to share this part. ]
He-- he looked at her like she was the sun. Like all the warmth in the world came from her. This tiny, strong, fierce woman who threw everything she had into everything she wanted to do. Sometimes, when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe that someone so perfect would let him stand in her shadow, let alone-- be saved by her. Save her in turn. They were both... so, so, so so so protective. Of each other. And of me.
[ He laughs again, but then things-- hit him, all at once, and the smile slips from his eyes. This stupid-- stupid, inconsequential Poe shit-- so much of it was based on wanting to protect him, and wanting to be protected by him in turn. It's still raw, having lost that, and feels even more raw when he realizes how closely he was comparing that relationship with the ones his parents had. It's opening up wounds he thought were closed, like-- like the fact that his mom isn't here to hug him and get him through all of this, and his dad isn't here to distract him with talk of swords and war and his homeland. That neither of them will meet Magnus and Alex, the closest people he has to parents in America. Young as they are. He doesn't say anything, but he does look down at his hands and swallows down all the other things he wanted to say about Lon'qu. ]
[Magnus' fingers curl against his own palms, nervous, feeling -- very acutely seen, by Odin, in that surprisingly insightful way of his. calm and brave and quiet is, nice, he guesses, and he doesn't mind being compared to someone respectful of boundaries at all. starved of affection and wounded by it isn't very off base, and it jars him a little -- if they need to be verbalised (usually so someone stops touching him, or if he fails to touch someone properly), he typically boils his issues down to "I'm weird about touch" and leaves it there. getting into it is messy, embarrassing, pathetic. it makes him feel broken, in a way he's quietly talked about, to Alex, face pressed in shame against a sharp shoulder or a skinny chest]
[but Odin doesn't mind that he's broken, like maybe his dad was, a little. Odin thinks of his parents when he talks to Magnus. Odin feels safe, and looked after, and that's all that matters to him. it's all that matters to Magnus, too, and he smiles, a little more raw, but not unhappy. it's scary to be seen, it's scary to be loved; but nobody got into Valhalla by being a coward]
I don't know if I'm -- ... [he starts, stops; just because the bravery is there doesn't mean the words are. he's not the best, at expressing himself, but he's trying. he'll always try, for the people he wants to love and protect] That, that is... um, if I remind you of an incredible guy like that, it makes me -- feel good. [he smiles, eyes dropping, to where his hands have worried the edge of the plate of eggplant parm, and gotten red sauce on them. smooth, Chase; he wipes it off, back on the plate] ...It was just, me and my mom growing up. Because she was protecting me. [...] She died, protecting me.
[it's scary, to be seen, and known. it's scary to be all on your own, too, though. and Magnus thinks Odin must feel very, awfully alone, without a sun of his own to clutch, like Magnus does, fingers tightly threaded in Alex's]
[but Magnus has two hands]
...I'm not very good at, fighting, or talking, or anything, but. If I can protect someone, too, that makes me happy. It'd make my mom happy.
[ Odin's eyes light up, with something close to understanding. Maybe this is why there's something in Magnus that resonates with him, in that way his relationships rarely ever do. To lose someone, who gave their life for you - it's not an easy thing, to live with that guilt, and Odin wonders how much of that guilt Magnus still wears. He wonders if he's ever met someone, in his afterlife, who let someone die for them, willing or otherwise. He wonders if he finally has a shoulder to offer that might make him feel like - like more than a burden, to Magnus, as he so often does, despite the constant reassurance and reminders that he's more than just that asshole who screams about swords and lords, like he used to be.
But he lets any questions he may have lie, and he does nothing, other than searching this kid's eyes with his own. He feels like he knows something, or recognizes something, maybe - still surprisingly insightful, seeing maybe a little more clearly than he should. He smooths his hair out of his eyes and realizes it's gotten rather long, since going to space. He clenches his teeth. ]
You've--
You've made an extraordinarily positive difference in my life, Magnus.
[ There's more he could say. More he wants to say, because words are all he ever has, and a thousand wouldn't be enough to explain just how, exactly, Magnus has improved the quality of his existence. But again - he lets it lie, and he turns to look up at the ceiling. ]
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Re: action
But the sight of his presents, his lights, his slanket, actually being used and loved, so many of them a part of Alex and Magnus's home rather than shoved in a box somewhere and put away, it - touches him, in a way he didn't realize it would, until he saw the warmth of the lights casting shadows on the floor he's standing on. He rubs his knuckle over his eye, trying to make it look like he's just tired rather than wiping away a dumb stupid sentimental-ass nerd tear, but he probably fails. When he laughs, it comes out as croaky and a little weak, but still happy. ]
Oh-- dude, I brought my own snacks. I don't wanna eat all your food. I'm already stealing a room from you guys, I can't... like... yeah.
[ He takes his bag off and goes to set it down, but thinks better of it and just hugs it to his chest, instead. This will pass, in time, once he's stayed a couple of nights, but for now he's nervous about doing the wrong thing and overstepping his welcome, and even something as simple as setting down his luggage feels like a bit of a minefield.
Oops, wait! That's a lie. Immediately distracted, he yells, suddenly, loud and excited, as he drops his bag on the floor and runs over to the TV, picking up a certain something and hugging it close. ]
You've got Snalex out! Ahh! I missed them so much!!!!
Re: action
Of course Snalex is out. They like to give me tips while I'm getting my ass kicked in Bloodborne. They say hey.
[he doesn't give a shit where Odin's luggage is, and steps over it, to kneel on the floor and pick up the tarot cards he'd left out]
They say you can sleep with them tonight, if you don't snore. Alex does, Snalex hates it.
[this is a nonsense conversation for idiots, and he's beaming with it]
Do you want curry? We had tikka masala. It's not too spicy, I promise. I think there's leftover eggplant parm, too... and I grew a bunch of weird poke-berries and made bread with 'em. They taste super sweet though, so that'd be better for breakfast or dessert...
[he's basically mumbling to himself at this point, excited in a way that displays differently than in Odin, watching Odin with content grey eyes]
Re: action
[ Somewhere along the line, Odin forgot to actually tell Magnus his real name - it slips out of him now without his notice, and he doesn't rush to hide it or correct himself, as he would with anyone else. Even if he weren't so focused on Snalex, kissing them on the nose and smiling from ear to ear, he probably wouldn't waste the effort to explain away the Odin thing right now - it feels right that Magnus hears that name, in the same way it felt right hugging him at the door. After all, they're family.
He does, however, frown at the offer of food. It's obvious, written over every inch of his face, that he thinks Magnus didn't hear him, when he mentioned he brought his own. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again, getting ready to argue or repeat himself or something, but in the end, he just - sets Snalex back down and smiles, coming over to poke at the tarot cards idly so he doesn't have to look at Magnus when he answers. ]
... Okay. If that's okay.
Re: action
[but first, he'll feed him leftover curry. he mirrors Odin's expression, though continues to look at him straight on, though with an intent grey gaze that usually only Alex gets so constantly subjected to. it really does feel like it's been longer than it has, with everything that's happened]
I wouldn't offer if it wasn't. [he finishes picking up the cards, stacking them onto the table semi-neatly] Let me warm some shit up. In my microwave, that I have now.
[he grins]
C'mon. Kitchen.
[and Magnus reaches out, like he doesn't have a problem with touch, before his body remembers and he pulls up short. his hand twitches in the air between them, for just a moment, until -- he takes the sleeve of Odin's hoodie gently, anyway. his smile is a bit proud, as he pulls Odin (still pretty gently, especially in comparison to how Odin and Peter interact) along]
Re: action
He heads to the kitchen in silence, though, thinking about things that are far, far away as he slides into his chair at the little table by the fridge. He watches Magnus work the microwave, and Owain feels proud of him, too, for having all of this. He's quiet, until his food is nearly prepared, and then it just sort of slips out of him at once. ]
You're-- my parents.
[ His face goes-- very, very fucking red, because that is a very stupid thing to blurt out of nowhere without explanation, and he just kind of slams his head onto the table and buries his nose into the grain of it for a second. If Magnus tries to speak before he calms down, Owain waves him off, frantically, with his other hand, needing to gather himself in silence. God damn. Stupid. Fuck. Okay. ]
My mother - was like you. I've told you that. But - you're my dad. Too. I didn't notice. Until now. Sorry. What am I-- I don't. What? What. What. Oh my god. Stop? Odin. Odin.
Re: action
Um --
[and then Odin is turning red, smacking his forehead and rubbing his face against the table. Magnus hurries to his side, still stupidly holding the parm, going to pat him -- putting the parm down -- getting waved off. palpable exclamation points are fairly popping up visibly out of his head, as Odin makes himself clearer]
[Odin's told him before, that he reminded him of his mother. a blond healer, someone who Odin thinks is inspiring, in the way they care for others. Magnus doesn't know about inspiring, but he does his best, and he understands all too well, seeing the person you loved most in the past in other people you love now in the present]
[he's not quite sure what to say, being informed he also reminds Odin of his dad, but, well. that's never stopped him before. slowly;]
Um. It's okay. I think? [a hand, always so carefully placed, on Odin's shoulder. he pats him, trying to ease him down from the panic he's gearing up to] ...I didn't grow up with any dads, so, I hope it's okay. That I do, um. Remind you of yours. Is it?
Re: action
He takes a few nervous breaths, scrubbing his hands over his face and clapping his palms on his cheeks a few times, and then he's okay to talk. Maybe he's growing up, finally. Or maybe he's just starting to really, really feel comfortable around Magnus. ]
Dad was calm and brave and quiet. He had-- boundaries, and he let other people have them, too. He respected distance, and he knew when people needed it, as well as when they didn't. I felt safe with him. And - it hit me, just now. You did something he used to do, and I was like - yeah, yeah, this is dad, he's just like dad, this is how I feel whenever I think that dad might be watching over me. He was always there for me, when I needed him to be, and-- and it was hard, for him to give himself to love and to the people who loved him, I think, because he was starved of affection and wounded by it at the same time. Not that-- not that I think that's you? Necessarily? Because man, what a rude thing that would be to say. But-- but he was careful, about who he loved, and when he loved them it was everything to him. Like-- oh man. The way he looked at my mom?
[ He laughs, suddenly, and he leans forward over the table like he's really, really excited to share this part. ]
He-- he looked at her like she was the sun. Like all the warmth in the world came from her. This tiny, strong, fierce woman who threw everything she had into everything she wanted to do. Sometimes, when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe that someone so perfect would let him stand in her shadow, let alone-- be saved by her. Save her in turn. They were both... so, so, so so so protective. Of each other. And of me.
[ He laughs again, but then things-- hit him, all at once, and the smile slips from his eyes. This stupid-- stupid, inconsequential Poe shit-- so much of it was based on wanting to protect him, and wanting to be protected by him in turn. It's still raw, having lost that, and feels even more raw when he realizes how closely he was comparing that relationship with the ones his parents had. It's opening up wounds he thought were closed, like-- like the fact that his mom isn't here to hug him and get him through all of this, and his dad isn't here to distract him with talk of swords and war and his homeland. That neither of them will meet Magnus and Alex, the closest people he has to parents in America. Young as they are. He doesn't say anything, but he does look down at his hands and swallows down all the other things he wanted to say about Lon'qu. ]
Re: action
[but Odin doesn't mind that he's broken, like maybe his dad was, a little. Odin thinks of his parents when he talks to Magnus. Odin feels safe, and looked after, and that's all that matters to him. it's all that matters to Magnus, too, and he smiles, a little more raw, but not unhappy. it's scary to be seen, it's scary to be loved; but nobody got into Valhalla by being a coward]
I don't know if I'm -- ... [he starts, stops; just because the bravery is there doesn't mean the words are. he's not the best, at expressing himself, but he's trying. he'll always try, for the people he wants to love and protect] That, that is... um, if I remind you of an incredible guy like that, it makes me -- feel good. [he smiles, eyes dropping, to where his hands have worried the edge of the plate of eggplant parm, and gotten red sauce on them. smooth, Chase; he wipes it off, back on the plate] ...It was just, me and my mom growing up. Because she was protecting me. [...] She died, protecting me.
[it's scary, to be seen, and known. it's scary to be all on your own, too, though. and Magnus thinks Odin must feel very, awfully alone, without a sun of his own to clutch, like Magnus does, fingers tightly threaded in Alex's]
[but Magnus has two hands]
...I'm not very good at, fighting, or talking, or anything, but. If I can protect someone, too, that makes me happy. It'd make my mom happy.
Re: action
But he lets any questions he may have lie, and he does nothing, other than searching this kid's eyes with his own. He feels like he knows something, or recognizes something, maybe - still surprisingly insightful, seeing maybe a little more clearly than he should. He smooths his hair out of his eyes and realizes it's gotten rather long, since going to space. He clenches his teeth. ]
You've--
You've made an extraordinarily positive difference in my life, Magnus.
[ There's more he could say. More he wants to say, because words are all he ever has, and a thousand wouldn't be enough to explain just how, exactly, Magnus has improved the quality of his existence. But again - he lets it lie, and he turns to look up at the ceiling. ]
... Food ready?