[Magnus' fingers curl against his own palms, nervous, feeling -- very acutely seen, by Odin, in that surprisingly insightful way of his. calm and brave and quiet is, nice, he guesses, and he doesn't mind being compared to someone respectful of boundaries at all. starved of affection and wounded by it isn't very off base, and it jars him a little -- if they need to be verbalised (usually so someone stops touching him, or if he fails to touch someone properly), he typically boils his issues down to "I'm weird about touch" and leaves it there. getting into it is messy, embarrassing, pathetic. it makes him feel broken, in a way he's quietly talked about, to Alex, face pressed in shame against a sharp shoulder or a skinny chest]
[but Odin doesn't mind that he's broken, like maybe his dad was, a little. Odin thinks of his parents when he talks to Magnus. Odin feels safe, and looked after, and that's all that matters to him. it's all that matters to Magnus, too, and he smiles, a little more raw, but not unhappy. it's scary to be seen, it's scary to be loved; but nobody got into Valhalla by being a coward]
I don't know if I'm -- ... [he starts, stops; just because the bravery is there doesn't mean the words are. he's not the best, at expressing himself, but he's trying. he'll always try, for the people he wants to love and protect] That, that is... um, if I remind you of an incredible guy like that, it makes me -- feel good. [he smiles, eyes dropping, to where his hands have worried the edge of the plate of eggplant parm, and gotten red sauce on them. smooth, Chase; he wipes it off, back on the plate] ...It was just, me and my mom growing up. Because she was protecting me. [...] She died, protecting me.
[it's scary, to be seen, and known. it's scary to be all on your own, too, though. and Magnus thinks Odin must feel very, awfully alone, without a sun of his own to clutch, like Magnus does, fingers tightly threaded in Alex's]
[but Magnus has two hands]
...I'm not very good at, fighting, or talking, or anything, but. If I can protect someone, too, that makes me happy. It'd make my mom happy.
[ Odin's eyes light up, with something close to understanding. Maybe this is why there's something in Magnus that resonates with him, in that way his relationships rarely ever do. To lose someone, who gave their life for you - it's not an easy thing, to live with that guilt, and Odin wonders how much of that guilt Magnus still wears. He wonders if he's ever met someone, in his afterlife, who let someone die for them, willing or otherwise. He wonders if he finally has a shoulder to offer that might make him feel like - like more than a burden, to Magnus, as he so often does, despite the constant reassurance and reminders that he's more than just that asshole who screams about swords and lords, like he used to be.
But he lets any questions he may have lie, and he does nothing, other than searching this kid's eyes with his own. He feels like he knows something, or recognizes something, maybe - still surprisingly insightful, seeing maybe a little more clearly than he should. He smooths his hair out of his eyes and realizes it's gotten rather long, since going to space. He clenches his teeth. ]
You've--
You've made an extraordinarily positive difference in my life, Magnus.
[ There's more he could say. More he wants to say, because words are all he ever has, and a thousand wouldn't be enough to explain just how, exactly, Magnus has improved the quality of his existence. But again - he lets it lie, and he turns to look up at the ceiling. ]
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Re: action
[but Odin doesn't mind that he's broken, like maybe his dad was, a little. Odin thinks of his parents when he talks to Magnus. Odin feels safe, and looked after, and that's all that matters to him. it's all that matters to Magnus, too, and he smiles, a little more raw, but not unhappy. it's scary to be seen, it's scary to be loved; but nobody got into Valhalla by being a coward]
I don't know if I'm -- ... [he starts, stops; just because the bravery is there doesn't mean the words are. he's not the best, at expressing himself, but he's trying. he'll always try, for the people he wants to love and protect] That, that is... um, if I remind you of an incredible guy like that, it makes me -- feel good. [he smiles, eyes dropping, to where his hands have worried the edge of the plate of eggplant parm, and gotten red sauce on them. smooth, Chase; he wipes it off, back on the plate] ...It was just, me and my mom growing up. Because she was protecting me. [...] She died, protecting me.
[it's scary, to be seen, and known. it's scary to be all on your own, too, though. and Magnus thinks Odin must feel very, awfully alone, without a sun of his own to clutch, like Magnus does, fingers tightly threaded in Alex's]
[but Magnus has two hands]
...I'm not very good at, fighting, or talking, or anything, but. If I can protect someone, too, that makes me happy. It'd make my mom happy.
Re: action
But he lets any questions he may have lie, and he does nothing, other than searching this kid's eyes with his own. He feels like he knows something, or recognizes something, maybe - still surprisingly insightful, seeing maybe a little more clearly than he should. He smooths his hair out of his eyes and realizes it's gotten rather long, since going to space. He clenches his teeth. ]
You've--
You've made an extraordinarily positive difference in my life, Magnus.
[ There's more he could say. More he wants to say, because words are all he ever has, and a thousand wouldn't be enough to explain just how, exactly, Magnus has improved the quality of his existence. But again - he lets it lie, and he turns to look up at the ceiling. ]
... Food ready?