fehus | IC INBOX ✺ MASKORMENACE

quit making me be morbid when i'm just being lazy.

um
ways PLURAL?

[ Kyle is legit horrified by that. ]

well Im sorry ur the one who fell and couldnt get up!!

i have literally already lost count. it's fine, i get better, don't freak out. that's just how my afterlife works. you die every day in glorious battle training for the end of the world or like, because your hallmate is pissed you used up all their shampoo.

i think you need more days off from the hero racket.

[ Don't freak out??? TOO LATE! He's freaking out! ]

but ur dead
how can u die again
does it hurt every time??

[ A hero's work never ends, so he's just going to ignore that snarky comment. ]

[ring, ring]

[and when Kyle picks up]

So I feel like I said "don't freak out," and you're freaking out a little. What happened to the neon-naked-pogo-stick theory?

That's—Okay, like, that's so different from "Oh, my dad is a King of Hell" or "Oh, aliens exist." Life is hard enough, why's the afterlife so rough, too?!

It's... I'm not freaking out, I'm just—I dunno, there's a better, less off-putting word than freak out I bet. And that's what I am.

[Magnus holds the phone away from his ear at the rise in volume -- puts it back. he hopes he isn't jeopardizing a friendship, in being blunt about himself]

I feel like that'd be a hit song back in Valhalla. [off-key hum;] "Life's hard enough, why's the afterlife, gotta be so rough..."

[this is him attempting to deescalate the not-a-freakout]

[ The groan from Kyle runs on for sooo long. AUUUUugh. Ugh. ]

Well, damn, I hope I'm half as cool about the afterlife as you are.

[ But Kyle isn't going to Valhalla or the Underworld or Heaven. He's a demon, he's going to spend eternity in Hell. ]

[he laughs a little; and he could just answer, yeah, but he decides to be honest. he wants to be Kyle's friend; that means being more real with him]

I've been dead for almost a year. Trust me, I wasn't that cool with it at first, with the dying, and all. And I still don't really dig getting eaten alive by wolves or arrows through the brain or -- [he stops, realising These Are Details That Are Distressing to Normal People] -- uh, like the dying all the time still sucks, I mean, it's sort of like a game up there, but now, you know -- I have friends there. I didn't have a lot when I was alive, at the end, so that means a lot to me.

[in trying to be honest, he accidentally outed himself as a bit of a friendless loser. he's okay with that, though -- Kyle isn't the kind of person that was going to think less of him, for something like that]

[ As soon as "eaten by wolves" is said there's a cry of "Oh my God!" from Kyle's end. Sorry but Kyle can't handle people's woes and pain and sorrow casually. Your pain is his pain!! ]

Guess there's a silver lining then. But uhm now that I made this awkward as Hell, and you still want to hang out tomorrow, then we will do that. Tomorrow. But I understand if I just scared you off.

[Magnus blinks]

So, uh, I'm feeling sort of like I, the undead abomination from beyond the viking crypt, made it awkward and am scaring you off, since you're about to hang up on me?

No! No, nothing like that. I'm just as much an abomination as you! But I suck with laughing off macabre stuff. I'm always the one bringing down the mood. Seriously, everyone I've met in this place can handle it better than me.

[ As is obvious by how pathetic is flippant laugh is. ]

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It means you're not numb to messed up crap, you know.

[his voice is measured, calm. understanding]

I can dial back on the macabre. I'm still working out what's actually fucked up to say to living people about my special Norse edition afterlife. [...] I don't want you to feel like we need to be abominations to hang. We can just be two dudes who like games and movies and stuff.

Edited 2017-09-01 02:43 (UTC)

[ Kyle laughs, and this time it's genuine. ]

Yeah, 'course. That works.

Okay.

So what'd you do today, Just a Dude Kyle?

Uhhh, not much? Went to work. Came home, currently eating a very terrible TV dinner.

How's the Meadows going over there?

TV dinners are gross. At least pick up some WcDonald's and make a tastier mistake.

The Meadows is going good, crickets chirping, flowers growing, the whole shebang. I really like the grounds, though Ronan keeps cracking jokes about -- [wait. he realises 8 seconds later after saying he'd dial back on the macabre, he was about to make a joke about whatever "Henrietta" was and how she only used to eat human meat. he switches to] -- me. In general.

Eh, there's something delicious in their grossness. Don't judge.

Yeah. Ronan does that.

[ He insults you, and then you're making out with him. It's very complicated!! ]