[a pause. and then Magnus remembers; Archie is Odin's very, very dear friend. Archie isn't being nosy, he's worried. Magnus has no problem, being open and honest, then]
I didn't, but then Odin texted me after it happened. And then I watched the stream.
[it was... it was rough. it felt invasive. but he needed to, to figure out how he could help his friend]
I felt kind of guilty, watching it... nobody should have seen that.
Yeah, same. I saw it live and kept wanting to shut it off.
[he sighs.]
On the bright side - amazingly - I've seen a lot about people saying they were paid to do it for drama... though I'm gonna visit any imPort fans that try to cash in on it.
[that isn't really the whole sum of it, as much as Magnus Chase is a succinct boy]
...I think he. I mean...
[Magnus struggles for another few moments, getting his thoughts in order]
He has a lot of bad thoughts about himself. I think how this played out reinforced a lot of them. Which sucks. It's hard to... change, how you think. About you.
Yeah. I was worried about that too. I spoke to them both but... I don't know. I don't know if I said the right things to Odin. I'm worried I made it worse.
[he rubs his face, even if magnus can't see it. it's to wake himself up, really. talking with odin was exhausting in the worst way.]
Sorry. I shouldn't keep putting this stuff on you.
[rrhrhghg he's like twice magnus's age? why is he like this?]
You're not putting anything on me. I'm kind of glad to know someone's looking out for him that's not, like... [he pauses] ...I literally died before I was in my first relationship. Which is, the one I'm in now? So there's some stuff I maybe can't talk about or don't understand, because I never had the experience. [...] So I'm glad you do, have that. Can talk to him about stuff I don't know jack shit about.
[that was a lot of words. Magnus is worried.]
Um. He might come home early, crash at Fauxhalla. -- Our new place. I'm still waiting to hear back from him about it. If he does, though, you should come over.
Actually, the first video he made when he arrived annoyed me, and I kind of got on his case like an asshole. I'm still not sure why? Anyway, I ended up going over to hang out with him and to stop him killing himself with magic trying to impress people. I think he wanted to go to the beach so I showed him how to surf on Sharpedo. After that he sent me a silly story he wrote when he couldn't sleep, and it was kind of worrying so I went over to check on him and stayed the night. That was before Matt arrived so I spend a bunch of time with him at night when neither of us could sleep... It just snowballed from there, I guess.
It was. It happened very quickly as well. I don't mind, but... sometimes I'm worried I might've skipped over stuff that he should know. I don't think he really fully understands what I did, especially with what he went through in his own world. We've never really... talked about it, though I have told him.
[unfortunately, all of archie's relationships come back to that, for one reason or another.]
...Well, anyway. After he let slip what happened in his own world -- almost compulsively -- it was kind of obvious he really needed someone. I'm glad he knows you and Peter as well. I know how bad self hatred like his can get and... I'd hate to see him spiral. I hate that sometimes I have to call him by his actual name to get his attention, because it seems like I'm cheapening it, or using it in a way that manipulates him. I just... I don't know. I'm not going to abandon him or anything, I never would. I guess I'm just really worried that I'm going to fuck up and it'll hurt him a lot. I tried to help with this space thing and I'm pretty sure that was it. That was the fuck up.
[he can't say he's totally surprised. Odin's led a couple different lives, literally. and Amir didn't know his name wasn't Jimmy for like, three years, so]
I will. I don't want to know anything that was a secret between you guys. I'm not about like, getting up in somebody's business, before they're ready.
[...]
Plus we've had kind of a weird, naming-relationship. It took him a while to call me Magnus instead of My Lord, so.
Um. When me and Odin first met, he begged me to be his Lord. 'Cuz I'm like, half-divine and descended from the Lord of Lords and I'm kind of the Prince of Elves and have a legendary magic sword and all that crazy junk. The kind of junk he spent his whole life obsessed with. It was his first day, and he was kind of freaking out, so I said yeah, he could be my retainer.
I guess that's still a thing? But we're mostly just best friends now. I mean he doesn't try to make me do Lordly things anymore like send him to his death in my honour, or do make him do my laundry, or anything.
I can't see it lasting that long anyway. I'm sure if you had said it made you uncomfortable he would've stopped... I know he's good like that. When he's not saying dumb shit because he works himself up too much.
[archie rubs his face again.]
Just-- fuck, Magnus. I think I was too blunt with him. I tried to tell him this wasn't his fault but... if love is unrequited he can't do anything about it. I don't know. That whole thing was a mess.
[Magnus pauses for a moment, thinking through his response]
I don't think being blunt's a bad thing. Especially when he's thinking he did something. But... you know this is his first love, right? I know that's kind of a dramatic way to put it, but... it's probably hard to not take it personally. I don't know.
Yeah. You always think your first love is the one an' Odin's emotions are fuckin'... 500% more than anyone else's.
[SIIGH.]
When he gets back-- like, in a couple months when he's had a chance to get his head back on, I'm gonna mention therapy to him. He needs better coping mechanisms for his anxiety that isn't just locking himself in his room and hating himself. I won't force it but... he needs to know it's an option.
I mean... it did sound like they clicked. Apart from how that guy didn't tell him he had feelings for someone else. I don't know. People make this shit too complicated.
I spoke to Poe, too. He regrets it a lot but... what's done is done. I just want them to be able to move past this in a way that doesn't hurt them more than they have already...
Probably Harley Quinn. She's very eccentric like Odin, but she really knows her stuff.
I kind of hope he comes home. I mean, stays with me and Alex. They've got two more weeks stuck in a floating can together otherwise. It really is like something that would happen on a reality TV show.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: voice
[he assumes magnus did, and if he didn't then he assumes odin has maybe already mentioned it?]
Re: voice
I didn't, but then Odin texted me after it happened. And then I watched the stream.
[it was... it was rough. it felt invasive. but he needed to, to figure out how he could help his friend]
I felt kind of guilty, watching it... nobody should have seen that.
Re: voice
[he sighs.]
On the bright side - amazingly - I've seen a lot about people saying they were paid to do it for drama... though I'm gonna visit any imPort fans that try to cash in on it.
[oops getting off track.]
How was he when you spoke?
Re: voice
[that isn't really the whole sum of it, as much as Magnus Chase is a succinct boy]
...I think he. I mean...
[Magnus struggles for another few moments, getting his thoughts in order]
He has a lot of bad thoughts about himself. I think how this played out reinforced a lot of them. Which sucks. It's hard to... change, how you think. About you.
Re: voice
[he rubs his face, even if magnus can't see it. it's to wake himself up, really. talking with odin was exhausting in the worst way.]
Sorry. I shouldn't keep putting this stuff on you.
[rrhrhghg he's like twice magnus's age? why is he like this?]
We should do something. When they're back.
Re: voice
[that was a lot of words. Magnus is worried.]
Um. He might come home early, crash at Fauxhalla. -- Our new place. I'm still waiting to hear back from him about it. If he does, though, you should come over.
Re: voice
[which is... possibly the worst thing odin could do. and something archie doesn't doubt the idiot would do.]
Faux-- [okay, he snorts, despite the seriousness of the conversation.] Oh, Arceus. That's great.
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[a pause]
Hey, Archie? How did you and Odin become friends?
Re: voice
...
Actually, the first video he made when he arrived annoyed me, and I kind of got on his case like an asshole. I'm still not sure why? Anyway, I ended up going over to hang out with him and to stop him killing himself with magic trying to impress people. I think he wanted to go to the beach so I showed him how to surf on Sharpedo. After that he sent me a silly story he wrote when he couldn't sleep, and it was kind of worrying so I went over to check on him and stayed the night. That was before Matt arrived so I spend a bunch of time with him at night when neither of us could sleep... It just snowballed from there, I guess.
Re: voice
Sounds intense.
Re: voice
[unfortunately, all of archie's relationships come back to that, for one reason or another.]
...Well, anyway. After he let slip what happened in his own world -- almost compulsively -- it was kind of obvious he really needed someone. I'm glad he knows you and Peter as well. I know how bad self hatred like his can get and... I'd hate to see him spiral. I hate that sometimes I have to call him by his actual name to get his attention, because it seems like I'm cheapening it, or using it in a way that manipulates him. I just... I don't know. I'm not going to abandon him or anything, I never would. I guess I'm just really worried that I'm going to fuck up and it'll hurt him a lot. I tried to help with this space thing and I'm pretty sure that was it. That was the fuck up.
Re: voice
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...Uhhhh... okay. I thought you knew. You two are super close?
... I don't know if I should tell you. He said it was, like. Secret. I don't know how many other people know. I fucked up. Pretend I didn't say that.
Re: voice
[he can't say he's totally surprised. Odin's led a couple different lives, literally. and Amir didn't know his name wasn't Jimmy for like, three years, so]
I will. I don't want to know anything that was a secret between you guys. I'm not about like, getting up in somebody's business, before they're ready.
[...]
Plus we've had kind of a weird, naming-relationship. It took him a while to call me Magnus instead of My Lord, so.
Re: voice
[a beat.]
Oh god. Why did-- why? Why My Lord?
Re: voice
I guess that's still a thing? But we're mostly just best friends now. I mean he doesn't try to make me do Lordly things anymore like send him to his death in my honour, or do make him do my laundry, or anything.
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[archie rubs his face again.]
Just-- fuck, Magnus. I think I was too blunt with him. I tried to tell him this wasn't his fault but... if love is unrequited he can't do anything about it. I don't know. That whole thing was a mess.
Re: voice
I don't think being blunt's a bad thing. Especially when he's thinking he did something. But... you know this is his first love, right? I know that's kind of a dramatic way to put it, but... it's probably hard to not take it personally. I don't know.
Re: voice
[SIIGH.]
When he gets back-- like, in a couple months when he's had a chance to get his head back on, I'm gonna mention therapy to him. He needs better coping mechanisms for his anxiety that isn't just locking himself in his room and hating himself. I won't force it but... he needs to know it's an option.
Re: voice
[...]
Is there someone you know he could work with?
Re: voice
Probably Harley Quinn. She's very eccentric like Odin, but she really knows her stuff.
Re: voice
[???]
She's a doctor? With the uh, hyenas?
Re: voice
[grumble grumble.]
Yeah, that one.
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