[it is hard, to express themselves; and maybe that's why, apart from his own considerable baggage, Alex has found space to even doubt Magnus would ever feel anything less for him than a quiet but overtaking love. there's a powerlessness to Magnus a lot of the time (not everybody could be a howling berserker, alright), but it's never so pronounced as when he's with Alex. he's utterly captivated by him, every touch affecting him not just because it's touch, a sense for him that's been vaguely scrambled by trauma, but because it's Alex's touch. he could shatter with a word; he could melt in his arms; he could be utterly blown away by a look. and -- it's been that way the whole time, since that first night in the hall, if he's being honest with himself]
[Magnus hadn't meant to put so much power over him into Alex's hands, but now -- he's doing so intentionally, grey eyes deep and trusting, intent on the boy he fell for almost instantly. he never feels safer than when Alex is around him, and he wants to make Alex feel safe, and celebrated, and loved -- it makes him want to try harder, like Alex is, to express himself and that burning warmth that surges through his whole body, every time Alex walks into a room. Alex kisses his lips and his nose and his brow, and each brief touch makes his heart hammer against his chest, more weighty than Mjolnir]
I love everything about you. [spoken much like a confession, in a tone something like quiet awe. he's never going to get over how incredible it is that Alex could feel even the faintest affectionate way about him, even if he has 100 more years to try and understand it] I love you. -- I'm definitely, totally sure.
[he hasn't said it yet, in quite those words. it'd been too hard, too terrifying, to try and express that same love, so close to helplessness, Alex is now coming to understand in him. but he's saying it now, trying to be brave, like Alex always is, and like Alex deserves]
[ it's nothing he hasn't said to magnus before, that he loves him, that he loves all the things about him, but-- when was the last time he's heard the words directed at himself? not since before his grandfather had died, and that had been.. a long time ago.
it makes his breath hitch in his chest, tight and frightened and painful, because a part of him is so afraid that he's fooling magnus. that he's not really worth his love, that he's just like his mother-- but that part of him quiets beneath his boyfriend's hands, drowned out by his certainty, their eyes meeting.
he curls his fingers in blond hair, surging forward to kiss him again, hard and searing and certain. he kisses him until the breath is burning in his lungs, and pulls away with a skittering, trembling breath. ]
I love you, too. I didn't think I was capable of-- of feeling like this for anyone.
[searing as it is, the kiss ignites him; makes that vulnerability they've created between them toughen up, into something solid and physically grabbable. which Magnus does, the arms around Alex's hips tightening, drawing him to the very edge of his seat as they kiss. Magnus thinks he might have just passed out instead of break apart, because the moment they do, he wants to swallow Alex's shivering breaths. he drags his eyes up from his boyfriend's lips to those beautiful, striking eyes, and feels -- luckier than anyone's ever felt in all the nine realms, he's sure of it]
[he wants to pull Alex that last inch, right into his lap, and hold him close and kiss him in gratitude and pure, unfettered happiness. his forearms tremble once behind Alex, but he can't quite make the move. not yet, but soon; soon he'll find the courage to press the two of them as close as he wants their hearts to be]
[a warm, loving smile finds its way to his face, unbidden]
Are you gonna push me if I say something cheesy like, I'm honoured.
[he's trying to pitch it like a joke, a soft place for Alex to land with all his broken feelings, but it comes out far too truthful, without the proper intonation, and not a joke at all. there's no hiding how he feels, in this respect -- he is honoured; he's not deserving, but then, he can't focus on that, doesn't care about that. not while he can wrap his arms around Alex Fierro, scourge of the 19th floor, beheader of men, and his boyfriend, who he desperately loves. Magnus tilts his head up, raining kisses on any skin he can reach, shy and insistent all at once]
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[Magnus hadn't meant to put so much power over him into Alex's hands, but now -- he's doing so intentionally, grey eyes deep and trusting, intent on the boy he fell for almost instantly. he never feels safer than when Alex is around him, and he wants to make Alex feel safe, and celebrated, and loved -- it makes him want to try harder, like Alex is, to express himself and that burning warmth that surges through his whole body, every time Alex walks into a room. Alex kisses his lips and his nose and his brow, and each brief touch makes his heart hammer against his chest, more weighty than Mjolnir]
I love everything about you. [spoken much like a confession, in a tone something like quiet awe. he's never going to get over how incredible it is that Alex could feel even the faintest affectionate way about him, even if he has 100 more years to try and understand it] I love you. -- I'm definitely, totally sure.
[he hasn't said it yet, in quite those words. it'd been too hard, too terrifying, to try and express that same love, so close to helplessness, Alex is now coming to understand in him. but he's saying it now, trying to be brave, like Alex always is, and like Alex deserves]
O-okay?
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it makes his breath hitch in his chest, tight and frightened and painful, because a part of him is so afraid that he's fooling magnus. that he's not really worth his love, that he's just like his mother-- but that part of him quiets beneath his boyfriend's hands, drowned out by his certainty, their eyes meeting.
he curls his fingers in blond hair, surging forward to kiss him again, hard and searing and certain. he kisses him until the breath is burning in his lungs, and pulls away with a skittering, trembling breath. ]
I love you, too. I didn't think I was capable of-- of feeling like this for anyone.
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[he wants to pull Alex that last inch, right into his lap, and hold him close and kiss him in gratitude and pure, unfettered happiness. his forearms tremble once behind Alex, but he can't quite make the move. not yet, but soon; soon he'll find the courage to press the two of them as close as he wants their hearts to be]
[a warm, loving smile finds its way to his face, unbidden]
Are you gonna push me if I say something cheesy like, I'm honoured.
[he's trying to pitch it like a joke, a soft place for Alex to land with all his broken feelings, but it comes out far too truthful, without the proper intonation, and not a joke at all. there's no hiding how he feels, in this respect -- he is honoured; he's not deserving, but then, he can't focus on that, doesn't care about that. not while he can wrap his arms around Alex Fierro, scourge of the 19th floor, beheader of men, and his boyfriend, who he desperately loves. Magnus tilts his head up, raining kisses on any skin he can reach, shy and insistent all at once]