Hey, you big dumb idiot! Haha. Just kidding. Hey, my all-tyrannical overlord who stripped me of my identity in order to make me his soulless, subservient shell of a vassal! HAHA, JUST KIDDING. It's me, Odin! ODIN DARK.
So, it's not official yet, but I'm going to be a professional wrestler, probably. I made friends with Magnus and decided I wanted his life. Um, not-- not you Magnus. Other Magnus? The hot Magnus. Will you come and see me do a wrestle when I make them hire me?
yeah, obviously i'll come see you do a wrestle when they hire you. which kind of wrestling are you talking about, though? the kind with shiny belts and melodrama and theme music, or the kind with singlets and helmets and dudes sitting on your chest?
HEY THANKS!!!!! I wanted to do my whole message in rainbow but I've already been yelled at for that being """"""hard to read""""" and """""""""""""""""""""""stupid""""""""""""""""""""""". Well, you know what I think is hard to read and stupid? Everyone else in the whole wide world.
It's the shiny belt one! IT'S LIKE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET ME. But I will still employ a great deal of chest-sitting should the opportunity present itself. And I will fucking make that opportunity present itself. SORRY FOR SWEARING. Actually, you could help me practice some moves! Do you have any qualms with being bench pressed or thrown around like a ragdoll or anything like that?
ALSO: HAHA, GROSS. You're family to me! I'm sure to non-family people and also to other tiny babies that are your tiny baby age, you're a very fly boy, but y'know. Have you met him? He's got arms the size of my face.
who's yelling at you? screw them. type however you want.
you can fucking swear, dude, i'm 17, not 7. and i think i knew some swears at 7. also i know curses in 3 languages, you're not going to teach me anything new.
i guess i don't mind being bench pressed or thrown around like a ragdoll if it's to help you achieve your dream of being Hot Magnus. which i'm assuming is your ring name.
i used to live next door to him. we haven't really hung out or anything, though.
... Really? Really? Okay. Wait, hold on, I need to-- hold on. WITH THE POWER OF TWELVE DYING STARS BURNING AT MY BACK, I UNLEASH THEE: CHROMATIC SCEPTER, ACTIVATE: SHINE YOUR BEACON UNTO THE EARTH! And so it begins.
I know you're probably a good swear-er. But. I was raised to only speak a certain way? And I've totally disregarded everything I was taught so I could just spout wild bull about magic and swords all the time. Which, don't get me wrong, was an incredibly rad decision on my part, but. I should probably have taken more from those lessons than a big vocabulary and some vague memories about how to greet a princess when she wants to marry me or whatever. So I should swear less. I guess. Dicks. hehehe
Great! We'll set that up. I'll bring you some more cool food to properly serve as a bribe. I'll make you and Hot Magnus hang out some day, too. God, my life is so fun and interesting and so are all my friends.
[Magnus thinks: wasn't a princess marrying him kind of a big deal? he can't tell if this is one of those times where he's just calling all women princesses, in the High Poetic Style, or is this one of those times he's being real? it seems like the latter, given that he's sharing about how he was raised]
[he elects to hold off on that question, instead asking]
how do you greet a princess when she wants to marry you or whatever?
[ the chromatic sceptre is still there and still in use, but wow, it's invisible in this tag somehow for some reason, what a crazy and wild meta inconsistency. rest assured, magnus is still getting rainbow text with every message odin sends him. ]
Mercy me. You really wanna know? Ugh. Ughh. Ughhhh. It depends on the setting. Like, at a noble girl's birthday party, for instance, a bunch of boys from good families would have been handpicked and invited to attend by the girl's dad. And right as you meet her, you have to be doing things SUPER ON POINT, because you have to impress not only her, but her dad, too. Right away! Right away, during your introduction, 'cause you'll only have a second to fraternize with her before thirty other boys are gonna come in right behind you and do the same thing. You've gotta say your name, who your family is, what your plans for the future are and present her with the best gift in the room. The rules are way different if it's a specific arrangement between your family and another family and there are no other boys to compete with, but. I never had that, so whatever. I don't think many noble families have arranged marriages like that anymore, anyway...
I'M MAKING SO MANY FRIENDS. Loma! She likes to be called Shade. Hot Magnus, obviously. And Archie! He's sort of a pirate? He has cool pets. He helped me get some rescue dogs!! Which, oh, speaking of which. If you ever wanna come over, maybe let me know beforehand? 'Cause Archie'll take care of 'em for me. Um, who else... I tried to make friends with Alex, but I typed too much and gave her a headache. Sorry. My bad.
[enjoys the rainbow with each and every text, in which there is rainbow]
why'd you have to learn about it if you never had to do it?
i don't know loma/shade, but archie's pretty fun.
i'm not scared of every dog. you're probably fine. it's cool that you rescued dogs that needed help. can i see pics?
and alex probably just forgot to reply. [A LIE. THIS IS PROBABLY A LIE. ALEX PROBABLY SNUBBED HIM HARD. the "probably" makes it less of a lie. let's say some true things to make it even less of a lie] he's really action-oriented, like you, he doesn't spend as much time messing around on his phone as i do.
Um, the world ended and everyone died before I was old enough to be married off, so.
[ whoops, awkward thing to say. ]
Also even though I was a prince I don't think I really had a marry-able personality anyway?
[ whoops awkward thing to say!!!!!! odin stares at his communicator as if willing the words to just disappear. they don't. magnus is probably just gonna assume he's spinning bullshit, anyway, so that's... fine. this is fine. he moves on. ]
Um, okay. They're really big, though. This is Lon'qu. And this is Lissa. They're cute, right? Big dumb idiots. Like me. And. Oh! "He". Sorry. That makes sense. He seems really cool.
What about you? How are you doing in the friendship boat? Do you have lots of friends? I bet you do.
i'm sorry that happened to your world. i'm sorry you lost people. it's something i worry a lot about, or have been through, obviously, undead norse apocalypse warrior or whatever. if you ever wanna talk about it with me, you can. or about like, weirdly having to start your life over.
it's all stuff i understand. so you don't have to dodge about it. it gets weird not talking about parts of your life to people you trust, even if those things suck a lot.
those dogs are really big/ but the silly hats and stuff make them look less terrifying. sorry, i think i am scared of your dogs? i take it back and am a lame loser who lies.
i'm doing okay in the friendship boat. i miss my friends from home a lot, but there's a lot of really good people here, and i'm glad i got to meet them.
[ odin is, as ever, worried that he's upset magnus when that first message comes through. he panics a bit and assumes that magnus is writing up some big, angry platonic breakup message that couldn't fit in one message's character limit or something, so when that doesn't happen, he breathes a sigh of relief. this does sort of mean he has to go back and read through it all again so he can actually take in everything magnus said, but. s'cool ]
I'm too lazy to break my messages up! Hahahahahahaha!
Um, so, yeah, I'm a prince. I don't really know how to explain the whole story... but I had to go somewhere else and hide my identity after everything that happened in my homeland. And now I figure, like. I'm somewhere new! So I don't have to hide the fact that I'm a prince anymore, and I'm really proud of my bloodline and my heritage, so it is kind of liberating to talk about it again. Just do me a favor and if anyone named Niles or Lord Leo (the dude who I'm a retainer for back home) shows up and starts asking questions about me, maybe don't answer any of them? Actually, if someone named Niles shows up, don't talk to him at all, 'cause he'll try to flirt with you and/or stab you and I do not want these things to happen.
[ besides, those are alex's jobs. ]
I'll talk to you about my home! That would make me feel good, honestly. I just don't want to make you uncomfortable with the whole apocalypse talk, so... if it gets too much, do the "no thanks" thing, yeah? But if you're okay with it, then yeah. Get ready for some dramatic tearjerking texts at 4am when you're trying to sleep and I've got insomnia or bad dreams, buddy! HA HA HA HA
Um, what else... oh! Don't worry about the dogs. Like I said, they're very big. I didn't think you would feel too comfortable with them. Don't worry about it. If you ever want to try combating your fears (though don't feel like you have to, because that is a hard and unnecessary thing to do and nobody should guilt you into that), I'll tie them up and you can maybe try saying hi to them. Otherwise, Archie can have them when we hang out!
This is the first time I've heard the word genderfluid, sorry. I don't want to say we don't have that kind of thing in my world, but I'm ignorant. But basically, sometimes he feels like "she" and sometimes he feels like "he", right? That's cool! Whatever makes him comfortable. Just take me aside and tell me if I mess up at any point, okay?
Also alsO ALSO ALSO ALSO,
I'm super glad to have met you. Home sucks 'cause it ain't got Magnus, bruh!!
i won't spread your secret princehood. wait, who is niles? apart from flirty and stabby.
[elects... not to respond... to 4 am wake-up text warnings. he resolves to figure out how to put his phone on silent so Alex doesn't wake up and piledrive him through the bottom of their tent]
[he also sort of... dodges talking about combating his fears. he came face to face with Fenrir, and he's still fucking afraid of wolves. he's probably more afraid of them after that. it's just going to be something he lives and dies with, probably. let's not talk about how big they are maybe!]
how old are the dogs?
alex isn't shy. he'll tell you when you mess up. i have a kind of cheat code to know when he's a he or a she but i feel like sharing his gender doesn't help other people be more respectful about that kind of stuff.
[he feels weirdly Touched by the last line. it reminds him weirdly of Jack in syntax, but the emotion behind it is all Odin]
The people who came before me have done some amazing things. There are people in my bloodline who saved the world. My aunt died trying to prevent a great war. My uncle was a gallant hero with no equal. My cousin took after him. We're held up as a royal family 'cause of the deeds we've done and the mark we bear. It's rad.
[ and also a lot of pressure, and man oh man, he is 100% not mentioning his mom even though she's the best hero of them all, let's move on ]
Ugh, so. He's this other retainer. My co-retainer? He's stabby and flirty and snoops around in my past. That's literally all you need to know about him. LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT DUMB STUPID NILES. The dogs! I don't know how old the dogs are. I think they're pretty old. I wanted to get the ones nobody else wanted, so. Y'know.
And, okay. The Alex stuff makes sense. I don't want to mess up at all, let alone enough for him to call me out, but... I respect him a lot! I mean, how could I not? He's a really cool person who you're obviously pretty close to, and considering you like me so much, you obviously have very good taste when it comes to choosing friends. (He kind of scares me, though. Cool people always do.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text
Hey, my all-tyrannical overlord who stripped me of my identity in order to make me his soulless, subservient shell of a vassal! HAHA, JUST KIDDING.
It's me, Odin! ODIN DARK.
So, it's not official yet, but I'm going to be a professional wrestler, probably.
I made friends with Magnus and decided I wanted his life. Um, not-- not you Magnus. Other Magnus? The hot Magnus.
Will you come and see me do a wrestle when I make them hire me?
Re: text
yeah, obviously i'll come see you do a wrestle when they hire you. which kind of wrestling are you talking about, though? the kind with shiny belts and melodrama and theme music, or the kind with singlets and helmets and dudes sitting on your chest?
also: "hot magnus?" insulting.
Re: text
Well, you know what I think is hard to read and stupid? Everyone else in the whole wide world.
It's the shiny belt one! IT'S LIKE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET ME. But I will still employ a great deal of chest-sitting should the opportunity present itself. And I will fucking make that opportunity present itself. SORRY FOR SWEARING.
Actually, you could help me practice some moves!
Do you have any qualms with being bench pressed or thrown around like a ragdoll or anything like that?
ALSO: HAHA, GROSS. You're family to me! I'm sure to non-family people and also to other tiny babies that are your tiny baby age, you're a very fly boy, but y'know.
Have you met him? He's got arms the size of my face.
Re: text
you can fucking swear, dude, i'm 17, not 7. and i think i knew some swears at 7. also i know curses in 3 languages, you're not going to teach me anything new.
i guess i don't mind being bench pressed or thrown around like a ragdoll if it's to help you achieve your dream of being Hot Magnus. which i'm assuming is your ring name.
i used to live next door to him. we haven't really hung out or anything, though.
i have to split this up 1/3 i'm sorry
WITH THE POWER OF TWELVE DYING STARS BURNING AT MY BACK, I UNLEASH THEE:
CHROMATIC SCEPTER, ACTIVATE: SHINE YOUR BEACON UNTO THE EARTH!
And so it begins.
Re: text
I was raised to only speak a certain way? And I've totally disregarded everything I was taught so I could just spout wild bull about magic and swords all the time. Which, don't get me wrong, was an incredibly rad decision on my part, but.
I should probably have taken more from those lessons than a big vocabulary and some vague memories about how to greet a princess when she wants to marry me or whatever. So I should swear less. I guess.
Dicks. hehehe
Re: text
I'll make you and Hot Magnus hang out some day, too.
God, my life is so fun and interesting and so are all my friends.
Re: text
[Magnus thinks: wasn't a princess marrying him kind of a big deal? he can't tell if this is one of those times where he's just calling all women princesses, in the High Poetic Style, or is this one of those times he's being real? it seems like the latter, given that he's sharing about how he was raised]
[he elects to hold off on that question, instead asking]
how do you greet a princess when she wants to marry you or whatever?
are you making a lot of cool friends here?
Re: text
Mercy me. You really wanna know? Ugh. Ughh. Ughhhh.
It depends on the setting. Like, at a noble girl's birthday party, for instance, a bunch of boys from good families would have been handpicked and invited to attend by the girl's dad. And right as you meet her, you have to be doing things SUPER ON POINT, because you have to impress not only her, but her dad, too. Right away! Right away, during your introduction, 'cause you'll only have a second to fraternize with her before thirty other boys are gonna come in right behind you and do the same thing.
You've gotta say your name, who your family is, what your plans for the future are and present her with the best gift in the room.
The rules are way different if it's a specific arrangement between your family and another family and there are no other boys to compete with, but.
I never had that, so whatever. I don't think many noble families have arranged marriages like that anymore, anyway...
I'M MAKING SO MANY FRIENDS.
Loma! She likes to be called Shade. Hot Magnus, obviously. And Archie! He's sort of a pirate? He has cool pets. He helped me get some rescue dogs!!
Which, oh, speaking of which. If you ever wanna come over, maybe let me know beforehand? 'Cause Archie'll take care of 'em for me.
Um, who else... I tried to make friends with Alex, but I typed too much and gave her a headache.
Sorry. My bad.
Re: text
why'd you have to learn about it if you never had to do it?
i don't know loma/shade, but archie's pretty fun.
i'm not scared of every dog. you're probably fine. it's cool that you rescued dogs that needed help. can i see pics?
and alex probably just forgot to reply. [A LIE. THIS IS PROBABLY A LIE. ALEX PROBABLY SNUBBED HIM HARD. the "probably" makes it less of a lie. let's say some true things to make it even less of a lie] he's really action-oriented, like you, he doesn't spend as much time messing around on his phone as i do.
Re: text
[ whoops, awkward thing to say. ]
Also even though I was a prince I don't think I really had a marry-able personality anyway?
[ whoops awkward thing to say!!!!!! odin stares at his communicator as if willing the words to just disappear. they don't. magnus is probably just gonna assume he's spinning bullshit, anyway, so that's... fine. this is fine. he moves on. ]
Um, okay. They're really big, though. This is Lon'qu. And this is Lissa.
They're cute, right? Big dumb idiots. Like me.
And. Oh! "He". Sorry.
That makes sense. He seems really cool.
What about you? How are you doing in the friendship boat? Do you have lots of friends? I bet you do.
Re: text 1/?
Re: text
it's all stuff i understand. so you don't have to dodge about it. it gets weird not talking about parts of your life to people you trust, even if those things suck a lot.
Re: text
Re: text
i still think it's great you rescued them.
Re: text
alex is the coolest.
Re: text
Re: text
Re: text
I'm too lazy to break my messages up! Hahahahahahaha!
Um, so, yeah, I'm a prince. I don't really know how to explain the whole story... but I had to go somewhere else and hide my identity after everything that happened in my homeland.
And now I figure, like. I'm somewhere new! So I don't have to hide the fact that I'm a prince anymore, and I'm really proud of my bloodline and my heritage, so it is kind of liberating to talk about it again.
Just do me a favor and if anyone named Niles or Lord Leo (the dude who I'm a retainer for back home) shows up and starts asking questions about me, maybe don't answer any of them?
Actually, if someone named Niles shows up, don't talk to him at all, 'cause he'll try to flirt with you and/or stab you and I do not want these things to happen.
[ besides, those are alex's jobs. ]
I'll talk to you about my home! That would make me feel good, honestly.
I just don't want to make you uncomfortable with the whole apocalypse talk, so... if it gets too much, do the "no thanks" thing, yeah?
But if you're okay with it, then yeah. Get ready for some dramatic tearjerking texts at 4am when you're trying to sleep and I've got insomnia or bad dreams, buddy! HA HA HA HA
Um, what else... oh! Don't worry about the dogs. Like I said, they're very big. I didn't think you would feel too comfortable with them. Don't worry about it.
If you ever want to try combating your fears (though don't feel like you have to, because that is a hard and unnecessary thing to do and nobody should guilt you into that), I'll tie them up and you can maybe try saying hi to them.
Otherwise, Archie can have them when we hang out!
This is the first time I've heard the word genderfluid, sorry. I don't want to say we don't have that kind of thing in my world, but I'm ignorant.
But basically, sometimes he feels like "she" and sometimes he feels like "he", right? That's cool! Whatever makes him comfortable. Just take me aside and tell me if I mess up at any point, okay?
Also alsO ALSO ALSO ALSO,
I'm super glad to have met you. Home sucks 'cause it ain't got Magnus, bruh!!
Re: text
i won't spread your secret princehood. wait, who is niles? apart from flirty and stabby.
[elects... not to respond... to 4 am wake-up text warnings. he resolves to figure out how to put his phone on silent so Alex doesn't wake up and piledrive him through the bottom of their tent]
[he also sort of... dodges talking about combating his fears. he came face to face with Fenrir, and he's still fucking afraid of wolves. he's probably more afraid of them after that. it's just going to be something he lives and dies with, probably. let's not talk about how big they are maybe!]
how old are the dogs?
alex isn't shy. he'll tell you when you mess up. i have a kind of cheat code to know when he's a he or a she but i feel like sharing his gender doesn't help other people be more respectful about that kind of stuff.
[he feels weirdly Touched by the last line. it reminds him weirdly of Jack in syntax, but the emotion behind it is all Odin]
i'm glad we met, too, dude.
Re: text
[ and also a lot of pressure, and man oh man, he is 100% not mentioning his mom even though she's the best hero of them all, let's move on ]
Ugh, so. He's this other retainer. My co-retainer? He's stabby and flirty and snoops around in my past. That's literally all you need to know about him. LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT DUMB STUPID NILES.
The dogs! I don't know how old the dogs are. I think they're pretty old. I wanted to get the ones nobody else wanted, so. Y'know.
And, okay. The Alex stuff makes sense. I don't want to mess up at all, let alone enough for him to call me out, but...
I respect him a lot! I mean, how could I not? He's a really cool person who you're obviously pretty close to, and considering you like me so much, you obviously have very good taste when it comes to choosing friends.
(He kind of scares me, though. Cool people always do.)